The Influence of parents on children
There are several relatively Autonomous psychological mechanisms through which parents influence their children. In the first place. the reinforcements. encouraging behavior that adults think is right ,and punishing the violation of established rules ,parents inculcate in the mind of the child a certain system of norms ,compliance with which gradually becomes for the child a habit and an internal need. Secondly. identification. the child imitates the parents ,guided by their example ,is trying to become like them. Thirdly ,understanding. knowing the inner world of the child and sensitively responding to its challenges ,parents thereby shape his consciousness and communicative quality.
Family socialization is not confined to direct “paired” to the interaction of the child with the parents. Thus, the effect of identification can be neutralized by a counter-role complementarity. for example, in a family where both parents can very well run a household, the child may not develop these abilities. as. although before his eyes a fine specimen. the family does not need the manifestation of these qualities; on the contrary. in the family. where the mother of echosystem, this role may take on the eldest daughter. No less important is the psychological mechanism of resistance. the young man whose freedom is severely restricted, can produce an increased craving for independence. and that. who all is allowed to grow dependent. Therefore, the specific properties of the child’s personality in principle not deducible from the properties of its parents ( either by similarity or contrast), or of individual methods of education
(D. Baumrind, 1975) .
However, a most important emotional tone of family relationships and the predominant family type of control and discipline.
The emotional tone of the relationship between parents and child psychologists are in the form of a scale, at one end of which stand as close as possible. warm, friendly relationships (parental love). and the other distant, cold and hostile. In the first case, the main means of education are the focus and encouragement. in the second – rigor and punishment. Many studies prove the advantages of the first approach. A child deprived of a strong and unambiguous evidence of parental love. has less chance of high esteem. warm and friendly relations with other people and sustainable positive image “I”. A study of youths and adults suffering from psychophysiological and psychosomatic disorders, neurotic disorders, difficulties in communication, mental activity or study, shows that all these phenomena are much more commonly seen in those who in childhood was lacking parental attention and warmth. Ill will or negligence on the part of parents causes neocon
annoy mutual hostility in children. This hostility may manifest as clearly, in relation to the parents and secretly. Unaccountably, unmotivated cruelty shown by some teenagers and young men in relation to other people that hasn’t done anything to them, is often the result of children’s experiences. If this powerless aggression is turned inward ,it gives low self esteem, guilt, anxiety etc.
The emotional tone of family upbringing does not exist independently. and in connection with a particular type of control and discipline. directed to the formation of the respective traits. Different methods of parental control can also be represented in the form of a scale, at one end of which is a high activity, independence and initiative of the child and the other passivity, dependence, blind obedience ( G. Elder, 1971) .
These types of relationships is not only on the distribution of power. but different direction intrafamily communication. in some cases, the communication is directed predominantly or exclusively from parent to child, in other – from children to parents.
Of course, the methods of making decisions in most families vary depending on the subject:
in some questions the students have almost complete autonomy. in others ( e.g. financial) – the right to decide remains with the parents. In addition, parents do not always practice the same style of discipline: the fathers, as a rule, are perceived by young men and actually are more rigid and authoritarian than mothers, so that the overall family-style to some extent a compromise. Father and mother can be complementary and can undermine the influence of each other.