Why do children steal? Tips to fathers
If you suddenly notice that your child is slowly drags money from home or have another toy or markers, you do not need to panic and think that he will be a thief for life.
Child stealing is a very common problem, although many parents are embarrassed to talk about it, considering the shameful family secret. Most of them do not know how to respond: not to swear, not to pretend that nothing happened, or blame themselves for the wrong upbringing of the child.
Causes of child stealing
The only correct reaction of parents to the child stealing does not exist, because every thief will have its own reason for such behaviour. Why do children steal? Choose common psychologists believe the following reasons.
· Uncontrollable desire to have a favorite thing . This can be a beautiful souvenir brought from abroad classmate or a toy, seen in the store. To steal himself desired object or to steal parents money to buy it – option can be any. But the point is that the desire to receive it so great that the child forgets about the moral side of things or not consciously thinking about what he’s doing is dishonest.
Quite often, the basis of this behavior is the difference in the material welfare of children . One child’s dad is a successful businessman gives his personal expenses one thousand rubles a day, and the other bus driver, who is struggling to make ends meet. Children envy and injustice in the distribution of benefits from strong factor that causes less-advantaged children to steal, not to seem backward and unsuccessful, while the more affluent peers.
· Lack of moral education . Awareness of the concepts of “mine” and “alien” comes to children after 3-4 years. No one would think to blame for stealing the baby, carried another bucket from the sandbox. For children who have grown up in an orphanage, the concepts of “mine” not at all, they were used to everyone – public, so you can come and take.
However, the older the child becomes, the better he should be aware of social rules . adopted by the society: it is impossible to take without permission other people’s things, all the secret always becomes clear, the misconduct should be punished. When a child has a gap in this knowledge, he can go on stealing, not realizing the immorality of his act and the inevitability of punishment.
· Reaction to psychological trauma and the desire to get more attention. As mentioned above, a dysfunctional family environment (physical or psychological) that could cause the child to steal. If the home is constantly racked by scandals and quarrels, the child receives from parents due attention and affection, he will steal to draw attention to themselves or to compensate for their moral dissatisfaction.
Very common in children “wasteful theft”.
For example, seven-year-old Marina is constantly dragged mom out of her purse the money to buy food and feed stray cats. First she asked my mother for money for these purposes, but received a severe failure. In the end, the girl’s desire to help animals overcame her moral prohibitions, and she went on stealing.
Children often carry the parents money to buy gifts or sweets to their friends and get the gratitude, respect and friendship.
Fortunately, this kind of child stealing eliminate a lot easier to understand what unmet child. After all, the dishonesty of his act he is very aware of, but some emotional problems pushing it on the wrong actions.
How to respond to parents on child stealing ?
When the theft was discovered, need independently or with the help of a psychologist to analyze the possible reasons for this behavior . You need to try to figure out this single case or theft steel system, whether the child is afraid of being caught or believe in their impunity, be sure to figure out what he was doing with the stolen things and what did they spend money.
If you have come to the conclusion that the theft of a child – the result of his impulsiveness and inability to control their desires, it is possible to overlook his transgression is impossible . Need to scold the child, to give to understand that if this happens again, he will be punished severely. For impulsive and rash act, the child should receive the same impulsive an earful.
It must clearly follow the logic of action: if you steal you will be punished . A child must be taught to control their desires, to take responsibility for their actions. After his memory is entrenched negative experience “showdown” after the theft, you can spend a couple of preventive conversations in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere to consolidate the result.
If the child began to steal in good faith or to convince others of their importance, then it makes sense to wean him from these actions secretly.
Suppose you managed to figure out what the child carries money. Then give him a chance to prove himself a ‘legal’ way to the need to steal just disappeared. After all, money itself does not need him, and need the attention of others. they help to buy.
For example, the child drags the money to buy candy and to get the kids in the yard. Then ask him to invite them home for tea, go with him to the store and ask to choose the cake and sweets that he wants to treat them. The child will get pleasure from the fact that he organizes a tea party, and from what mom and dad welcomed his desire to be friends with the guys and help.
If a child steals to help homeless animals or the poor (and this happens quite often, because children are very compassionate), then instructed him to organize among friends children collect old clothes and books to the orphanage (in advance notice of parents of children).
Whatever the reason for stealing, feel free to talk about this issue and to address to the psychologist. In childhood, this phenomenon has not as a criminal hue, as in the adult, it is important to understand why children steal and solve the problem in a timely and reasonable.
Prevention of child stealing
· Do not provoke theft . do not leave valuables in sight, keep large amounts of money in the safe or Bank.
· Give the child personal space: give him things that he can dispose of personally, will be able to give them or to give other children at the time. Let him have his own property . he will learn to cherish and appreciate.
· Give the child pocket money . This will allow him to learn how to handle money. to save for something very desirable (i.e. to overcome your impulsivity) and to respect other people’s savings (mother’s and father).
· Tell (even think) story, for example, about how sick neighbor’s grandmother thieves stole all the money and nowhere to live. Describe in detail her experiences and the distress that the child understood that he had “injured party” and how frustrating it is when you have something stolen.
· Conduct preventive conversations from an early age and keep talking about the rules of behavior in society in General.
Most importantly, do not take offense of the child as evidence of his incurable immorality. In my childhood consciousness and moral values of the child only begin to form, and how competently you will be able to raise, depends on his whole life.
Nurture a child on universal values such as kindness, understanding and honesty, and then he will grow up to be decent and honest man.