Optimal age difference between children. When to give birth to a second?
Question about the time of the birth of the first child often does not occur in young families, because loving each other people usually tend soon after the wedding to become parents. Fortunately, for most the only child is not the limit of desires, and after some time after the birth of their first child the couple think about it, but isn’t it time for them to have a little happiness. Is it worth it to jump to second birth to children then it was more fun to play together, or better to wait until the eldest is sufficiently independent?
Of course, quite a common situation is when the pregnancy is a surprise, but in this case, moms and dads will be interested to know what is ready for the expected age difference between their children. Look at the different options.
The age difference between children less than 3 years
The difference to 3 years includes as option with pogodki. and the more “respectable” age difference. Why 3 years? Usually a three-year age psychologists see as the turn of the children’s independence . To 3 years the child perceives the mother as an integral part of his little world – you can tell he feels one with it. The separation from mom, who went to the hospital, lasts about 5 days, and it’s a big test for the psyche of the child. In any, even the most loving and friendly environment, it experiences anxiety and fear that the mother will not come. Yes, mom is back, but now her love is not undividedly belongs to the firstborn, and this becomes a cause of jealousy and resentment.
Of course, not all that bad. Many parents carefully approached to prepare an older child for the birth of the youngest, note that the kid quickly gets used to the appearance of “the contender” and, after a year and a half, with bliskowschodnia children becomes much easier. Jr. reaches for a senior in development, both are for the game.
The positive aspects of small differences are also material side of the question and psychological mood women for motherhood. Crib, stroller and even clothes (in case the kids are the same sex) has never given, and knowledge about feeding and caring for the baby, most likely, will not need to refresh. You can safely go “from the decree to the decree.” and this also is usually a plus for mom.
An important aspect when you are planning such a difference is women’s health. The majority of doctors recommends to go for a second right after the first, because the body needs rest after pregnancy. Serious hormonal shake-up, zatrzymanie own resources in nurturing the child, and just the mental and physical fatigue – it is for these reasons gynecologists strongly recommend to delay the next birth.
The age difference between children 3-4 years
The difference 3-4 years is considered average, and many consider it optimal. Indeed, the birth of a child with such a difference has a number of advantages.
First of all, the woman’s body after 3 years usually fully restored after childbirth. You appear to pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding.
Firstborn after 3 years already feels like an independent person, he knows a lot and can. In his speech appears the pronoun “I”, and this directly indicates the feeling of the child itself as separate from her mother’s personality . Besides, at the age of three in children usually occurs primary maternal or paternal instinct, simply put, the interest for small children is not as dolls, but as objects of care and attention.
However, psychologists again assert that 3 years is not much, and the difficulty may lie in the fact that the emergence of a competitor is superimposed on the so-called crisis of 3 years . But if, in addition, at this age the baby will go to kindergarten, challenges and childish tantrums are inevitable. Because in the mind of the child there is a direct link between the emergence of the baby and his own separation from mom.
Every day your first child is becoming smarter, and so many are saying about the difference in 4 years as an ideal. To 4 years the child will be a great help and friend to mom and newborn will probably react with awe and tenderness. Of course, jealousy is possible, but deal with it will be much easier than in the case of pogodki.
The age difference between children 5-7 years
According to the public opinion, such a difference is quite “solid”. The eldest child is old enough, and it is quite possible that he will ask the parents for a sister or brother. On the other hand, the infant may cause disappointment, because to play with him will not be soon.
The firstborn is already used to being an only child . he “fed” parental love, but the unexpected switch of mom’s attention to squeaky ball can cause serious jealousy.
A separate topic for reflection is education. At the age of 7, the eldest child will go to school . and he would need my mother’s support and assistance in adapting to a new life stage. Mom who are on leave to care for a second child, will be able to meet the firstborn from school, but it will have to be very attentive and flexible to allocate their time between children.
If we consider the distant future, in the future, when the children become students, the difference in the age of 5-7 years will provide the opportunity to pay the tuition at the University in turn . what will not be so burdensome for the family budget.
The age difference between children over 7 years
This difference in age is traditionally considered to be large. The eldest child’s independent, he goes to school and gets your social circle . On the one hand, this difference gives the mother the opportunity gladly return to forgotten already caring for a newborn, but it can become quite a challenge when life is already established, and colic. teeth and diapers left somewhere in the misty past.
When the age difference is more than 7 years of sharing children, in General, have nothing. They have different interests, different toys and games . This does not mean that children with a large difference will be strangers to each other, rather, it depends on the education and the atmosphere in the family, but the fact remains – a real friendship between them will arise soon.
Parents preparing for the advent of a second child with this difference, we must remember that from older in any case can not do the baby sitter. Many adults complain, remembering how his parents had loaded their responsibilities associated with the younger child. You don’t want your child then remembered childhood years? Enjoy his childhood . Responsible for the increase of the family lies with the parents, not the children.
Is there an optimal age difference between children?
From the point of view of psychologists . the optimum distance at which the firstborn will not be deprived of motherly hugs and worn on the hands too early and won’t be for a very long time to grow as an only child in the family. Usually ideal psychologists call the difference of 4-5 years.
According to gynecologists . for full recovery after the delivery it will take about 3 years. Different figures are called doctors in their recommendations about repeat pregnancy after cesarean section. But usually 3 years is really a minimum figure, taking into account not only the condition of the reproductive system and the body of the woman, but the minimum duration of breastfeeding is important for women’s health. The who (world health organization) says about the necessity of breast-feeding until the child is aged at least two years.
Judging by the experience of many moms . the ideal difference in age of the children, perhaps, does not exist. More specifically, for each family has their own. Do not get hung up on numbers, though to listen to the advice of experts, definitely worth. If we compare the averaged opinions of doctors, psychologists, anthropologists and statisticians, the optimal age difference between children is 3-5 years . This does not guarantee a family gathering, but perhaps a reason to think about for those who think about povodkah or, alternatively, decides to postpone the birth of a second for an indefinite period. When birth to a second child – every family decides. And if life decided the question of the age difference for you, rejoice – whatever the figures, with the advent of the second baby you will only get happier!