If you ask women, lying in the hospital, whom they want — a boy or a girl, most probably will answer: of course, my daughter! Son want to please her husband, but the dream of giving birth to my daughter. 20 years from now these same women often begin to complain that naughty daughter, did not meet their expectations don’t understand the loved one — your mom… And adult daughters, meanwhile dreaming of the birth of a child — of course, girls.
In fact, most women believe that the younger daughter will become a mainstay in my life, carer, close friend. What is the reason for this belief? The fact that women subconsciously equate his daughter with him. Often the mother is even difficult to understand where the boundary between her and her daughter. Usually it is quite natural, while the little girl knotted bows on silky curls and dress up in beautiful dresses like a doll (no wonder our grandmothers said, “the First child is the last doll”). At this age my daughter is in fact very close with his mother. The difficulties begin when the child is approaching school age. In addition to the daughter of his second, a woman tries in her upbringing to compensate for all the shortcomings of their life. Continue reading
Education of the individual in Japan is very different from traditional education in Russia. Those rude phrases, which are easy to hear on our playgrounds: “you’re bad”, “now I will punish you” it is impossible to imagine there. Even if the little Japanese boy would fight with my mother or felt-tip pen to draw on the white door of the store are no strict punishments and reprimands will not follow. Up to 5-6 years old child here everything is allowed. Such liberal tradition of educating absolutely not fit into our ideas about how to raise children.
The basis of education in Japanese society is a tolerant and friendly attitude to a young child. Such permissiveness in childhood, adult Japanese citizens are law-abiding and ability to live by the interests of the team and company.
What Russians consider minor offences: beer behind the wheel, a conflict with a fight on holiday, journey on forbidding signal of a traffic light, — it is impossible for Japanese. To live is required by the rules. Break the rules (“losing face”). That in Japan, children are taught from early childhood, is the basis of education.
Amazing result? Actually, the education of the individual in Japanese society is constructed so that this result is a natural Continue reading
In recent decades, psychologists have made a number of remarkable discoveries.
One of them is about the importance of communication style with the child to develop his or her personality.
Bad food poisons the body; improper communication is poisoning the child’s mind. The style of parental interaction involuntarily recorded (imprinted) in the child’s mind.
The parents of difficult children themselves suffered from conflicts with their own parents. Most parents raise their children the way they themselves were raised in childhood.
To change the style of communication with the child, the parent should:
1. Of course to adopt a child is to love him not for what he’s handsome, smart, calm and so on, and just like that, just for what he is! You must tell the child that he is dear to you. Four hours of communication per day is absolutely necessary for everyone to survive, and for good health at least eight (Virginia Satir)
2. Do not interfere in the case, which makes the child unless he asks for help. His laissez-faire you will tell him: “you all right, you’re going to fail.”
3. If a child is difficult, and he is ready to ask for your Continue reading